August 28th, 2009 by Indigo

It’s been a week since the August Gathering.    Sorry for not posting earlier, but life got in the way (and not all in bad ways, either).

This month, we saw 3 new faces at the gathering.  And two of them even spent a lot of time talking (what is it about subs that they never want to speak up?).  The topic this month was “control”.   With all the various ways to interpret that word, the conversation wandered around a bit, but it was a lively one.  We ventured off into power, rules, protocols, procedures, and the nature of submission vs. surrender.  Like I said… the conversation wandered.  But that’s what these gatherings are all about.

I’ve decided that (barring some bolt of inspiration), I’m going to make next month a BYOT gathering:  Bring Your Own Topic.  We’ll toss them into the ring and see what bites.

Sept 17th, 7-9pm at Cool Beans next to East Towne.

See you there!

July 18th, 2009 by Indigo

Looks like I dropped the ball again.  I haven’t posted an update since April

Well… There wasn’t a May gathering.   Problems with the venue and other issues caused it to be effectively canceled.  But we did meet in June–and we just had the July gathering.

The topic for June (carried over from May) was “Responsibility”.  That proved to be a rather fun topic.  While the conversation wandered around from topic to topic (as we always do), it kept coming back to the original topic of “responsibility”.  And that got tangled  up with its counterpart: “Duty”.

It was definitely a good gathering.

July’s gathering just  happened a couple days ago.  It was a small one (what the hell is with all these people who have social lives??).  The starter topic this month was “Risk”.  We had a good discussion, but I think too many people had the same viewpoint.  It’s difficult to get an insightful dialog going when almost everyone has the same viewpoint.

In an unprecedented move, the topic for next  month has already been chosen (at the suggestion of one of our regulars).  The seed topic for August is “Control”.  This should be a fun one!

Do you have ideas about control? Care to share them with others?  Ready to back those ideas up?  Come join us at the Gateway Gathering for August.

Thursday Aug. 20th
7pm-9pm
at Cool Beans on Madison’s east side.

Everyone is welcome–just remember  to bring your thinking cap.

June 20th, 2009 by Indigo

Thanks to everyone who showed up at the June Gathering.

There was one face that hasn’t been with us since the first (very tiny) Gathering, and another that I didn’t recognize (if you’ve attended before and I’ve just forgotten, I blame it on being old).

First of all: the new venue worked out very well (even if they did start “pre-closing” the store half-way through our 2-hour reserved block.  That’s okay.  We’re sadistic old bastards:  We made the staff stay until the officially-posted closing time (how’s that for being mean?).  I don’t know what’s up with Escape.  I’m the type of person is who is very loyal to businesses that treat me well (which Escape has most certainly done in the past), but after repeated failures to reply to my inquiries, I was forced to look elsewhere.  We’re already scheduled at Cool Beans next month (July 16th), so we’ll definitely be there.

Anyway…   This month’s topic was a difficult one:  Responsibility.  It was difficult because it’s so nebulous.  And, to be honest, that was a large part of why the discussion was so fun.  I wouldn’t use a difficult seed topic like this all the time, but every once in a while it’s a nice way to push our limits and and see how well we can bring together a productive conversation from a less-than-simple starting point.

I’m not going to tell you what we talked about.   That’s the prize for those who actually come to the Gatherings and get involved.  So mark July 16th on your calendar–block out 7pm to 9pm–and come join us for some open, honest, serious, silly, and sometimes random conversation on kinky topics.

April 23rd, 2009 by Indigo

Okay, I’ve been slacking.  I admit it.

I haven’t posted an update since the February Gathering.  And the past two have been great!

Both March and April saw new people joining the discussions.  The scope of experience, roles, and perspectives is constantly increasing, and it’s making for ever-more interesting discussions.

To be honest, I can’t remember what all we talked about during the March Gathering (the starter topic was “gear: tools or toys”), but the April Gathering stayed fairly close to the starter topic:  “Limits:  hard, soft, and outer”.    While the discussion certainly wandered around quite a bit, the subject of limits kept cropping up.  This may be a topic that needs to be revisited.

Unlike most months (where I pull a starter topic out of my ass as I’m writing the reminder e-mail), the starter for May was actually picked during the April Gathering:  “Responsibility”.

Yeah…  I expect there to be some interesting discussion next time.

If you’re in Madison, you’re kink-friendly, and you’re up for some intelligent–and often pointed–conversation, stop on by the Escape Java Joint on May 21st between 7 and 9pm.

February 28th, 2009 by Indigo

I know I’m a week late in posting updates about the last gathering, but real life intruded.

The February Gathering was another small one, but the discussion was great.  We had 3 new people show up, so the group is growing.

I’ve put in the reservation for March.  They don’t know which room we’ll be in, but so far, the two rooms we’ve used have been good, so I don’t see that as being an issue.

See you at the March Gathering!

February 15th, 2009 by Indigo

The initial topic for this month’s gathering will be: “What defines a BDSM relationship?”

Pretty basic, right?   We’ll find out on Thursday.

See you there!

January 7th, 2009 by Indigo

Thanks to the small (but very talkative!) few who came to the first gathering last night. It was a great start, and just confirmed that this is something worth pursuing.

From this point forward, we’ll schedule a regular date: Third Thursday of every month. The next gathering will be Feb. 19th. We’ll meet at the Escape Java Joint again.

I’ve created a mailing list to send out reminders and other info. If you’d like your name added to the list, let me know. Send your request to master@flurgl.com

This first gathering was a very informal “hey, we’re here” sort of thing. Going forward, there will be an initial topic or “theme” set for each gathering to get the ball rolling. If the discussion naturally heads off in another direction, we’ll follow it, but this gives us a starting point.

The topic will be included in the reminder e-mail (if you’re on the mailing list) a week or so before the gathering.

Hope to see you at the next one!

January 2nd, 2009 by Indigo

The room has been reserved at Escape for 7pm on Tuesday Jan 6th.

Hope to see you there.

December 24th, 2008 by Indigo

This is being posted to the Gateway website and e-mailed to those who have contacted me.

========

I have reserved the room at Escape Coffee, but I haven’t paid the deposit to confirm the reservation.  It’s $40 for the night.  So far, I’ve only heard back from 1 person with a confirmed “yes” attendance.  Unless I hear back from more people confirming that they will attend, I’ll cancel the reservation.  I’ll need to know before New Years Eve, so I have a chance to either drive into Madison to pay the deposit or give sufficient notice of cancellation.

December 9th, 2008 by Indigo

The following is a “form letter” that I sent out to a number of people with whom I had discussed the idea of the M-BDSM Gateway (originally called the “coffee clatch”).

You were one of the people who responded to my invitation to start a “coffee clatch” for kinksters. I know it’s been a long time since the invite went out, but I’ve been giving people time to respond. I’ve also been spending time talking with others who have been helping me with some organizational and philosophical details.

About half a dozen people have told me they’d be interested in joining the group. A friend of mine has another dozen or so people who have expressed interest in this type of group to her. And a couple others, with more experience in the lifestyle, have offered at least some help as “moderators”. So it looks like we have a very solid foundation, and enough people to make for some interesting discussions.

There’s been debate over whether a public venue or a private home would be best for the gatherings. I’ve looked at both sides and have decided that, at least for the first couple meetings, a public venue with semi-private rooms is the best option. I’ve checked out the “Escape Java Joint & Art Gallery” at 916 Williamson St., and we can get our own room. It costs $15 for the room, and we all have to buy a drink or get a pot of coffee for the bunch of us. I will pay for the room, but would appreciate a donation of a dollar or two to help cover the costs (I’m poor just like the rest of you).

I’d like to reserve a room for Tuesday Jan 6th at 7:00pm. Please let me know as soon as possible if you can attend, so I have an idea of how many people to expect. If there’s only going to be 2 or 3 of us, I’ll reschedule. If you can’t attend, let me know what times would be best for you so I can figure out a time that allows the most people to attend.

A few notes about what to expect:

• We’re meeting as equals. There will be no protocol, no play, and no titles (except for me; I shall be referred to as “His Mighty and Righteous Omnipotence, the High Lord Muckity Muck”).
• There will be (at least to start) no preset topics. It’s an open forum for discussion. I (or someone else) will, however, act as a “moderator” to keep the conversation going, ask questions, offer insight, and make sure no fist fights break out (formal duels can be scheduled for after the gathering is over). At least one person has expressed and interest in being a “speaker” at one of the meetings, so there’s an opportunity for some gatherings with a somewhat more formal structure.
• Differing opinions–and even passionate debate–are acceptable and even encouraged (I’m likely to play “devil’s advocate” quite frequently, just to get people to think about their viewpoints). Personal attacks, however, will not be tolerated. (Holy crusades must be presented by 7 virginal co-sponsors, pass the Sub-committee for Holy Retribution, and be put to a floor vote.)
• There’s going to be a wide variety of experience levels. Everyone is welcome, from starry-eyed newbs to jaded veterans (unless they become intolerant, intolerable, and/or belligerent jerks–then we toss them out on their ass and pour coffee over their heads).
• Friends, spouses, and random sexy strangers are all welcome. If you know of anyone who might want to be a part of the group, please feel free to bring them along (see caveat in previous data point).

As you can see, I tend to be flippant and snarky. While we’ll certainly be discussing serious topics, and they should be discussed with some seriousness, but… let’s try not to get so wrapped up in things that we forget how to be “plain ol’ people”. :)

Since this letter went out, I have had the opportunity to talk about the project with a couple experienced kinksters and have refined the ideas upon which the project is based.  This open exchange of ideas is what the Gateway Gatherings are all about.

If you have any questions, you can leave a comment here (comments are moderated, and require approval, so it probably won’t show up right away) or contact Master [at] flurgl.com.